I was privileged to help a Lecturer compile
the
results of those being
examined and was stunned by the way some
students answered the
examination questions.
One of them responding to the question,
“What is public
relation?”
began his answer this way:
“Dear Madam,
thank you very much for this pertinent and
well
deserved question.
It shows how good and motherly you are. In
fact, of all the
lecturers in
this university, you are one of the best and
God
will surely reward you.
Before I answer the great question, let me
first of
all ask about your
husband and children, praying and believing
that they are
swimming in
the ocean of good health.
Now to answer your question, public relation
is
simply all your
relations who come out in the public.
For instance, the brother of our Governor
can say that the
Governor is his public
relation.
Friday, 26 September 2014
FUNNY
Cameroun boy sends his girlfriend who
lives in another town a letter
which reads "I am sorry, but i'm in
love wit a young,cute, beautiful,
sexy, adorable, intelligent and
awesome lady, so i want us to end our
relationship. Since i no longer
love u, send me back my photo.
The girl sends him a reply in
return stamped envelope
containing 50 photos of different
guys. Her reply reads "I don't remember ur face,
so please select
ur photo and send de remaining
ones back to me - "Thanks
ONE WORD FOR CAMEROUN BOY???
lives in another town a letter
which reads "I am sorry, but i'm in
love wit a young,cute, beautiful,
sexy, adorable, intelligent and
awesome lady, so i want us to end our
relationship. Since i no longer
love u, send me back my photo.
The girl sends him a reply in
return stamped envelope
containing 50 photos of different
guys. Her reply reads "I don't remember ur face,
so please select
ur photo and send de remaining
ones back to me - "Thanks
ONE WORD FOR CAMEROUN BOY???
CAMEROUN BOY AND TEACHER
cameroun boy was asked in class by his teacher..
teacher: was the past tense of big
camerounboy; very simple BIGGER
wit joy in her mind she assked again
teacher: can you make a sentence with bigger
camerounboy; yes ma!!! (teacher do you known dat you are bigger than my mum)
one word for cameroun boy d joker
teacher: was the past tense of big
camerounboy; very simple BIGGER
wit joy in her mind she assked again
teacher: can you make a sentence with bigger
camerounboy; yes ma!!! (teacher do you known dat you are bigger than my mum)
one word for cameroun boy d joker
cameroun boy jokes
1. Dangote's daughter cheated on me and you say I
should break up? Don't you know that Love is all
about forgiveness.
2. Beloved sisters in the Lord, if your boyfriend can
finish 5 loafs of bread and 2 fishes; you are dating
5000 people.
3.How can a pastor be preaching about charity and put
a password on Church WIFI?
4.A boy I beat up back then in primary school is now in
the US Army. He poses with guns on Facebook, and
looks like he hasn't forgotten.
5.When you are kissing your girlfriend and you see the
person owing you money, what will you do?
6.One stone is enough to break a glass, one word is
enough to break a heart, one second is enough to fall
in love BUT Why is one chapter not enough to pass
exams?
7.When you see a Nigerian couple outside staring at
the moon, It's either NEPA (Nigeria's Electricity
company) took the light or they are waiting for the
smell of the insecticide to subside.
8.I just saw a Tricycle (Keke Napep) with an inscription
"Trust No woman" I have a feeling that guy once had
a range rover.
9.If you want to change the world, do it now that you
are still single, because when you get married, you
can't even change the T.V station.
Which Number(s) you love??
should break up? Don't you know that Love is all
about forgiveness.
2. Beloved sisters in the Lord, if your boyfriend can
finish 5 loafs of bread and 2 fishes; you are dating
5000 people.
3.How can a pastor be preaching about charity and put
a password on Church WIFI?
4.A boy I beat up back then in primary school is now in
the US Army. He poses with guns on Facebook, and
looks like he hasn't forgotten.
5.When you are kissing your girlfriend and you see the
person owing you money, what will you do?
6.One stone is enough to break a glass, one word is
enough to break a heart, one second is enough to fall
in love BUT Why is one chapter not enough to pass
exams?
7.When you see a Nigerian couple outside staring at
the moon, It's either NEPA (Nigeria's Electricity
company) took the light or they are waiting for the
smell of the insecticide to subside.
8.I just saw a Tricycle (Keke Napep) with an inscription
"Trust No woman" I have a feeling that guy once had
a range rover.
9.If you want to change the world, do it now that you
are still single, because when you get married, you
can't even change the T.V station.
Which Number(s) you love??
Tuesday, 16 September 2014
A couple's having dinner in a restaurant when their waitress, standing a
few tables away, watches as the guy slides all the way down his chair
and out of sight. The woman across from him seems to not notice.
The waitress comes over and says, "Excuse me, Ma'am, but I think your
husband just slid under the table."
The woman says, "No he didn't, he just walked in the door."
check dis out
Q: Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: She stole his heart.
Q: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring
.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
Q. What did one volcano say to the other?
A. I lava you.
Q: What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?
A: Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
A: She stole his heart.
Q: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring
.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
Q. What did one volcano say to the other?
A. I lava you.
Q: What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?
A: Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
cameroun boy lodge
Q: Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
A: To get a mini soda!
———-
Q: Where do orcas hear music?
A: Orca-stras!
———-
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.
———-
Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?
A: Fsh!
———-
Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
A: Take the words out of his mouth!
———-
Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A: A chili dog on a bun.
———-
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
———-
Q: Where do mice park their boats?
A: At the hickory dickory dock.
———-
Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?
A: The baaaahamas
———-
Q: What do you call a thieving alligator?
A: A crookodile
———-
Q: What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A: A watch dog.
———-
Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A: A lawn moo-er.
———-
Q: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lilly.
———-
Q: How does a dog stop a video?
A: He presses the paws button.
———-
Q: Why do cows go to New York?
A: To see the moosicals!
———-
Q: What do you call lending money to a bison?
A: A buff-a-loan
———-
Q: What is the snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-story
———-
Q: What is black ,white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt penguin!
———-
Q: Why does a dog wag its tail?
A: Because there’s no one else to wag it for him.
———-
Q: What is a cat’s favorite movie?
A: The sound of Mew-sic!
———-
Q: How do you make a goldfish old?
A: Take away the g!
———-
Q: Why did the lamb cross the road?
A: To get to the baaaaarber shop!
———-
Q: How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
A: Squeaky clean!
———-
Q: What has four legs and goes “Oom, Oom”?
A: A cow walking backwards!
———-
Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.
———-
Q: What do you call a pig that’s been arrested for dangerous driving?
A: A road hog.
———-
Q: What is a cheetahs favorite food?
A: Fast food!
———-
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
———-
Q: What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
A: Me-ow!
———-
Q: What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
———-
Q: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
A: He was trying to fetch a boomerang!
———-
Q: What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!
———-
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Porkchop!
———-
Q: Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
A: In his trunk!
———-
Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
A: None, because they were copycats!
———-
Q: Which day do fish hate?
A: Fryday!
———-
Q: What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A: A milkshake!
———-
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts don’t talk.
———-
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No I deer!
———-
Q: Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
A: Because of the bark!
———-
Q: How are elephants and trees alike?
A: They both have trunks!
———-
Q: What do you call an exploding monkey?
A: A baboom!
———-
Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!
———-
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!
———-
Q. How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
A. Put him in the front seat.
———-
Q: What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A: A car only has one horn.
———-
Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?
———-
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!
———-
Q: Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
A: Anywhere it wants to!
———-
Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!
———-
Q: What do you get when you plant a frog?
A: A cr-oak tree.
———-
Q: What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A: A hush puppy.
———-
Q: How is a dog like a telephone?
A: It has a collar I.D.
———-
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.
———-
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said “moo” and the second cow said “baaaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “why did you say baaaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.”
———-
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!
———-
Q: Why do you bring fish to a party?
A: Because it goes good with chips.
———-
Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: The price of bacon would go up.
———-
Q: How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
A: Take away his shovel!
———-
Q: What did the frog say when he heard “time flies when you are having fun?”
A: Time is fun when you’re having flies!
———-
Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: It gave a little wine!
———-
Q: Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
A: To hide in a bag of M&M’s.
———-
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
———-
Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In a river bank!
———-
A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.
———-
Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!
———-
Q: What kind of cat should you never play games with?
A: A cheetah!
———-
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the shell station.
———-
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A skunk with a rash.
———-
Q: What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?
A: Five after one.
———-
Q: What do whales eat?
A: Fish and ships.
———-
Q: What part of a fish weighs the most?
A: The scales.
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A: A tyrannosauraus wreck!
———-
Q: What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
A: The banana split!
———-
Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can’t tuna fish.
———-
Q: What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you like, he can’t hear you.
———-
Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
———-
Q: How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
A: With flood lighting.
———-
Q: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
A: With a cowculator.
———-
Q: What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
A: An udder failure.
———-
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: Because the chicken was on vacation.
———-
Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: As far away as possible.
———-
Q: What did the sardine call the submarine?
A: A can of people.
———-
Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish.
———-
Q: Why did the elephant leave the circus?
A: He was tired of working for peanuts.
———-
There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, “moo” and the other one says, “That’s what I was going to say.”
———-
Customer: “Do you have alligator shoes?”
Clerk: “Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?”
———-
Q: What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
A: A woolen jumper!
———-
Q: What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
A: Glass flippers.
———-
Q: Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
A: Catfish
———-
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny.
———-
Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A: A phew.
———-
Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
———-
Q: How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
A: Plug its nose.
———-
Q: What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?
A: A mouse on vacation.
———-
Q: What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
A: Sir.
———-
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra.
———-
Q: What is a cow’s favorite place?
A: The mooseum.
———-
Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin sea.
———-
Q: What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?
A: Decalfinated!
———-
Q: What do you call a mad elephant?
A: An earthquake.
———-
Q: What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish.
———-
Q: Where are sharks from?
A: Finland.
———-
Q: What is King Arthur’s favorite fish?
A: A swordfish
———-
Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He made an illegal ewe turn.
———-
Q: What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?
A: A coat of arms.
———-
Q: What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A: A hot dog!
———-
Q: What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
A: Bison!
———-
Q: What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.
A: A cow on a skateboard.
———-
Q: Why don’t bears wear shoes?
A: What’s the use, they’d still have bear feet!
———-
Q: What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!
———-
Q: What does a calf become after it’s 1 year old?
A: 2 years old.
———-
Cow: “Mooooove over!”
Sheep: “Naaaaaaa.”
———-
Q: How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
A: There are footprints in the butter.
———-
Q: Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
A: Because his feet stink!
———-
Q: What’s a dog’s favorite food for breakfast?
A: Pooched eggs.
———-
Q: What do you give a pig with a rash?
A: Oinkment.
———-
Q: What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
A: Use a pen.
———-
Q: What’s black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A: Three skunks fighting over a pickle!
———-
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy!
———-
Q: What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A: A computer mouse.
———-
Q: What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A: A watch dog.
———-
Q: What pine has the longest needles?
A: A porcupine.
———-
Q: What’s worse than a centipede with athlete’s foot?
A: A porcupine with split ends!
———-
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: The chicken wasn’t around yet.
———-
Q: What kind of cars do cats drive?
A: Catillacs!
———-
Q: What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?
A: A buck.
———-
Q: What’s a frog’s favorite drink?
A: Croak-a-cola.
———-
Q: What’s an alligator’s favorite drink?
A: Gator-Ade.
———-
Q: What do you call snake with no clothes on?
A: Snaked.
———-
Q: What did the dog say to the flea?
A: Stop bugging me!
———-
Q: Where do cows go on Saturday night?
A: To the mooooooovies.
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: A try and try and try-ceratops!
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A: A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
———-
Q: What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?
A: A kitten.
———-
Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: A dino-sewer.
———-
Q: What did the snail say when he got on the turtle’s shell?
A: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
———-
Q: Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A: At the baa-baa shop.
———-
Q: Why can’t hippos ride bicycles?
A: Bike helmets don’t fit hippos!
———-
Q: What’s a puppy’s favorite kind of pizza?
A: Pupperoni.
———-
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt zebra.
———-
Q: What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
A: The police had to comb the area.
———-
Q: What do camels use to hide themselves?
A: Camelflauge!
———-
Q: What do you call a messy hippo?
A: A hippopota-mess!
———-
Q: What do you call a cow that twitches?
A: Beef jerky
———-
Q: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A: Is that you mommy?
———-
Q: What is a lion’s favorite state?
A: Maine
———-
Q: Where do horses live?
A: In the neigh-borhood.
———-
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Because they don’t fit on a ironing board!
———-
Q: What is a cat’s favorite breakfast?
A: Mice krispies
———-
Q: What is a frog’s favorite year?
A: Leap Year
———-
Q: What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A: A Dogwood!
———-
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A: A swordfish!
———-
Q: What is a horse’s favorite sport?
A: Stable tennis!
———-
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
———-
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
———-
Q: What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A: A dino-sore!
———-
Q: What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
A: Squash!
A: To get a mini soda!
———-
Q: Where do orcas hear music?
A: Orca-stras!
———-
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.
———-
Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?
A: Fsh!
———-
Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
A: Take the words out of his mouth!
———-
Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A: A chili dog on a bun.
———-
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
———-
Q: Where do mice park their boats?
A: At the hickory dickory dock.
———-
Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?
A: The baaaahamas
———-
Q: What do you call a thieving alligator?
A: A crookodile
———-
Q: What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A: A watch dog.
———-
Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A: A lawn moo-er.
———-
Q: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lilly.
———-
Q: How does a dog stop a video?
A: He presses the paws button.
———-
Q: Why do cows go to New York?
A: To see the moosicals!
———-
Q: What do you call lending money to a bison?
A: A buff-a-loan
———-
Q: What is the snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-story
———-
Q: What is black ,white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt penguin!
———-
Q: Why does a dog wag its tail?
A: Because there’s no one else to wag it for him.
———-
Q: What is a cat’s favorite movie?
A: The sound of Mew-sic!
———-
Q: How do you make a goldfish old?
A: Take away the g!
———-
Q: Why did the lamb cross the road?
A: To get to the baaaaarber shop!
———-
Q: How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
A: Squeaky clean!
———-
Q: What has four legs and goes “Oom, Oom”?
A: A cow walking backwards!
———-
Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.
———-
Q: What do you call a pig that’s been arrested for dangerous driving?
A: A road hog.
———-
Q: What is a cheetahs favorite food?
A: Fast food!
———-
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
———-
Q: What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
A: Me-ow!
———-
Q: What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
———-
Q: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
A: He was trying to fetch a boomerang!
———-
Q: What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!
———-
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Porkchop!
———-
Q: Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
A: In his trunk!
———-
Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
A: None, because they were copycats!
———-
Q: Which day do fish hate?
A: Fryday!
———-
Q: What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A: A milkshake!
———-
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts don’t talk.
———-
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No I deer!
———-
Q: Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
A: Because of the bark!
———-
Q: How are elephants and trees alike?
A: They both have trunks!
———-
Q: What do you call an exploding monkey?
A: A baboom!
———-
Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!
———-
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!
———-
Q. How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
A. Put him in the front seat.
———-
Q: What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A: A car only has one horn.
———-
Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?
———-
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!
———-
Q: Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
A: Anywhere it wants to!
———-
Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!
———-
Q: What do you get when you plant a frog?
A: A cr-oak tree.
———-
Q: What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A: A hush puppy.
———-
Q: How is a dog like a telephone?
A: It has a collar I.D.
———-
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.
———-
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said “moo” and the second cow said “baaaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “why did you say baaaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.”
———-
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!
———-
Q: Why do you bring fish to a party?
A: Because it goes good with chips.
———-
Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: The price of bacon would go up.
———-
Q: How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
A: Take away his shovel!
———-
Q: What did the frog say when he heard “time flies when you are having fun?”
A: Time is fun when you’re having flies!
———-
Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: It gave a little wine!
———-
Q: Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
A: To hide in a bag of M&M’s.
———-
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
———-
Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In a river bank!
———-
A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.
———-
Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!
———-
Q: What kind of cat should you never play games with?
A: A cheetah!
———-
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the shell station.
———-
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A skunk with a rash.
———-
Q: What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?
A: Five after one.
———-
Q: What do whales eat?
A: Fish and ships.
———-
Q: What part of a fish weighs the most?
A: The scales.
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A: A tyrannosauraus wreck!
———-
Q: What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
A: The banana split!
———-
Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can’t tuna fish.
———-
Q: What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you like, he can’t hear you.
———-
Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
———-
Q: How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
A: With flood lighting.
———-
Q: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
A: With a cowculator.
———-
Q: What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
A: An udder failure.
———-
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: Because the chicken was on vacation.
———-
Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: As far away as possible.
———-
Q: What did the sardine call the submarine?
A: A can of people.
———-
Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish.
———-
Q: Why did the elephant leave the circus?
A: He was tired of working for peanuts.
———-
There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, “moo” and the other one says, “That’s what I was going to say.”
———-
Customer: “Do you have alligator shoes?”
Clerk: “Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?”
———-
Q: What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
A: A woolen jumper!
———-
Q: What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
A: Glass flippers.
———-
Q: Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
A: Catfish
———-
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny.
———-
Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A: A phew.
———-
Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
———-
Q: How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
A: Plug its nose.
———-
Q: What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?
A: A mouse on vacation.
———-
Q: What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
A: Sir.
———-
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra.
———-
Q: What is a cow’s favorite place?
A: The mooseum.
———-
Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin sea.
———-
Q: What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?
A: Decalfinated!
———-
Q: What do you call a mad elephant?
A: An earthquake.
———-
Q: What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish.
———-
Q: Where are sharks from?
A: Finland.
———-
Q: What is King Arthur’s favorite fish?
A: A swordfish
———-
Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He made an illegal ewe turn.
———-
Q: What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?
A: A coat of arms.
———-
Q: What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A: A hot dog!
———-
Q: What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
A: Bison!
———-
Q: What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.
A: A cow on a skateboard.
———-
Q: Why don’t bears wear shoes?
A: What’s the use, they’d still have bear feet!
———-
Q: What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!
———-
Q: What does a calf become after it’s 1 year old?
A: 2 years old.
———-
Cow: “Mooooove over!”
Sheep: “Naaaaaaa.”
———-
Q: How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
A: There are footprints in the butter.
———-
Q: Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
A: Because his feet stink!
———-
Q: What’s a dog’s favorite food for breakfast?
A: Pooched eggs.
———-
Q: What do you give a pig with a rash?
A: Oinkment.
———-
Q: What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
A: Use a pen.
———-
Q: What’s black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A: Three skunks fighting over a pickle!
———-
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy!
———-
Q: What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A: A computer mouse.
———-
Q: What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A: A watch dog.
———-
Q: What pine has the longest needles?
A: A porcupine.
———-
Q: What’s worse than a centipede with athlete’s foot?
A: A porcupine with split ends!
———-
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: The chicken wasn’t around yet.
———-
Q: What kind of cars do cats drive?
A: Catillacs!
———-
Q: What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?
A: A buck.
———-
Q: What’s a frog’s favorite drink?
A: Croak-a-cola.
———-
Q: What’s an alligator’s favorite drink?
A: Gator-Ade.
———-
Q: What do you call snake with no clothes on?
A: Snaked.
———-
Q: What did the dog say to the flea?
A: Stop bugging me!
———-
Q: Where do cows go on Saturday night?
A: To the mooooooovies.
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: A try and try and try-ceratops!
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A: A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
———-
Q: What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?
A: A kitten.
———-
Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: A dino-sewer.
———-
Q: What did the snail say when he got on the turtle’s shell?
A: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
———-
Q: Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A: At the baa-baa shop.
———-
Q: Why can’t hippos ride bicycles?
A: Bike helmets don’t fit hippos!
———-
Q: What’s a puppy’s favorite kind of pizza?
A: Pupperoni.
———-
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt zebra.
———-
Q: What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
A: The police had to comb the area.
———-
Q: What do camels use to hide themselves?
A: Camelflauge!
———-
Q: What do you call a messy hippo?
A: A hippopota-mess!
———-
Q: What do you call a cow that twitches?
A: Beef jerky
———-
Q: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A: Is that you mommy?
———-
Q: What is a lion’s favorite state?
A: Maine
———-
Q: Where do horses live?
A: In the neigh-borhood.
———-
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Because they don’t fit on a ironing board!
———-
Q: What is a cat’s favorite breakfast?
A: Mice krispies
———-
Q: What is a frog’s favorite year?
A: Leap Year
———-
Q: What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A: A Dogwood!
———-
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A: A swordfish!
———-
Q: What is a horse’s favorite sport?
A: Stable tennis!
———-
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
———-
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
———-
Q: What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A: A dino-sore!
———-
Q: What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
A: Squash!
Funny Riddles
if you have me, u wat to share me.
if you share me, you haven't got me..
WHAT AM I !!!!!!!!!
if you share me, you haven't got me..
WHAT AM I !!!!!!!!!
Champions League: Arsenal beaten blue and black by Borussia Dortmund
In a game that was completed one sided,Arsenal didn't turn up for the party as they were totally overran by the Germans.
Jurgen Klopp's Dortmund dominated Arsene Wenger's Arsenal,who were second best in all departments of the game.
Both teams had injury worries coming into the match with key players sitting out the game.
Arsenal were missing players like Mathieu Debuchy, Olivier Giroud,Nacho Monreal and Theo Walcott. While Dortmund seemed the worst hit: Marco Reus, Ilkay Gundogan,Nurin Sahin, Kirch, Kuba, Piszczek and Matts Hummels all missed the game.
Dortmund dictated everything that happened in the game,battering their opposition and it took a yeoman's job from Laurent Koscienly to be able to repel them for some time.
However,he couldn't stop Ciro Immobile who was the direct opposite of his name,racing through Arsenal's defence and scoring a solo goal,just at the stroke of half-time.
It was as if the wall caved in on Arsenal and they further opened up in the second half,allowing Pierre Aubameyang space to add to their misery in the game.
The truth is that Arsenal was the second best and none of their players stepped up to the plate when needed.
Mikel Arteta was constantly exposed and Mesut Ozil further showed lack of brilliance to change the complexion of the proceedings for his team.
Danny Welbeck further justified why Manchester United sold him in the summer,missing a handful of chances that he should have buried.
He got at least three chances that he should have taken advantage of,but he fluffed his efforts.
Dortmund would have at least gotten five goals if they had taken all their chances,with Henrikh Mkhitaryan missing a lot of the chances.
Arsenal will go back,knowing that they have to do a lot if they are to make it out of their group
Results of Champions League Matchday 1
Juventus 2 - 0 Malmö
Olympiakos 3 - 2 Atletico Madrid
Liverpool 2 - 1 Ludogorets
Real Madrid 5 - 1 FC Basel
Benfica 0 - 2 Zenit St Petersburg
Monaco 1 - 0 Bayer Leverkusen
Dortmd 2 - 0 Arsenal
Galatasaray 1 - 1 Anderlecht
No Reason Schools Shouldn't Resume on Sept. 22 - Health Minister
The Minister of Health, Prof. Onyebuchi Chukwu, on Friday at a media
briefing in Lagos said that there was no reason why schools should not
reopen on Sept. 22.
``It is for the commissioners of education to advise the principals, at least for public schools, as well as private schools on when they can reopen.
``The ministry of health is like what the weather people are to the nation.
“They will tell you that the weather will be sunny, stormy or there will be heavy downpour, but they can never directly, for example, stop any plane from flying.
``It is for the aviation people to take the advice and combine with other factors to decide whether flights will take off or not.
``So, I want to make it clear that from the technical point of view, there is absolutely no reason why any school, except if they have other problems that are not medical, cannot reopen,’’ he said.
``So, when the minister of education, working with the commissioners of education, said they have revised the opening of schools from 13th Oct to 22nd of Sept., we have nothing against that.
`` If we did, we would have objected or let them know,’’ he said.
Chukwu said the resumption would also give opportunity for children to be taught about EVD.
He also advised people not to relax as EVD was being contained. ``Luckily, we are still winning. Schools have to reopen. But that doesn’t mean we should go to sleep." he said.
``It is for the commissioners of education to advise the principals, at least for public schools, as well as private schools on when they can reopen.
``The ministry of health is like what the weather people are to the nation.
“They will tell you that the weather will be sunny, stormy or there will be heavy downpour, but they can never directly, for example, stop any plane from flying.
``It is for the aviation people to take the advice and combine with other factors to decide whether flights will take off or not.
``So, I want to make it clear that from the technical point of view, there is absolutely no reason why any school, except if they have other problems that are not medical, cannot reopen,’’ he said.
``So, when the minister of education, working with the commissioners of education, said they have revised the opening of schools from 13th Oct to 22nd of Sept., we have nothing against that.
`` If we did, we would have objected or let them know,’’ he said.
Chukwu said the resumption would also give opportunity for children to be taught about EVD.
He also advised people not to relax as EVD was being contained. ``Luckily, we are still winning. Schools have to reopen. But that doesn’t mean we should go to sleep." he said.
Nigerians Urged to Use the Female Condom
Stakeholders in the health sector in a joint statement issued by Mrs
Esther Agbarakwe and Mrs Nwabundo Onyeabo on behalf of the organisers of
the 2014 Global Female Condom Day in Abuja on Tuesday stressed the
importance of increasing public awareness on the use of female condoms
in Nigeria and sub-Saharan Africa.
``In 2009, around 26 million female condoms were provided through international and non-governmental funding sources, compared to 10.7 million in 2006.
``However, the global distribution of female condoms is still far less than that of male condoms as it is currently not a well-known product, with only 13 per cent of persons having heard of the female condom, and much fewer have ever used one,’’ the statement said.
It said that though the campaign for female condom use in Nigeria had been in the media for some time, stakeholders in the sector had identified strategies that could improve condom use among women.
According to the statement, the Society for Family Health (SFH) currently creates demand through innovative mass media campaigns and advocacy to key community and opinion leaders, and distributes female condoms nationwide.
It said that the government in collaboration with stakeholders had in the past promoted the distribution of over three million female condoms as part of its campaign against the spread of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs).
``The effectiveness of the female condom cannot be over emphasised as when used perfectly, its failure rate is below 5 per cent and it can be inserted up to five hours before sex.
``The principle behind its operation is basically the same as the male version: it provides a barrier to the exchange of bodily fluids during sexual intercourse that can lead to HIV transmission.
``Strong grassroots intervention, interpersonal communication and elimination of inhibiting cultural and social beliefs are keys to promoting increased female condom use in Nigeria,’’ it said.
The statement said that the country programme activities for Global Female Condom Day will hold from 13 to 16 Oct. and would include providing support for large scale female condom programming in Nigeria.
#Nigeria #Condom #Abuja
http://www.nigerianbulletin.com/hashtags/Condom/
``In 2009, around 26 million female condoms were provided through international and non-governmental funding sources, compared to 10.7 million in 2006.
``However, the global distribution of female condoms is still far less than that of male condoms as it is currently not a well-known product, with only 13 per cent of persons having heard of the female condom, and much fewer have ever used one,’’ the statement said.
It said that though the campaign for female condom use in Nigeria had been in the media for some time, stakeholders in the sector had identified strategies that could improve condom use among women.
According to the statement, the Society for Family Health (SFH) currently creates demand through innovative mass media campaigns and advocacy to key community and opinion leaders, and distributes female condoms nationwide.
It said that the government in collaboration with stakeholders had in the past promoted the distribution of over three million female condoms as part of its campaign against the spread of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs).
``The effectiveness of the female condom cannot be over emphasised as when used perfectly, its failure rate is below 5 per cent and it can be inserted up to five hours before sex.
``The principle behind its operation is basically the same as the male version: it provides a barrier to the exchange of bodily fluids during sexual intercourse that can lead to HIV transmission.
``Strong grassroots intervention, interpersonal communication and elimination of inhibiting cultural and social beliefs are keys to promoting increased female condom use in Nigeria,’’ it said.
The statement said that the country programme activities for Global Female Condom Day will hold from 13 to 16 Oct. and would include providing support for large scale female condom programming in Nigeria.
#Nigeria #Condom #Abuja
http://www.nigerianbulletin.com/hashtags/Condom/
NYSC Batch C 2014: Group Says NYSC Has No Justification for Monetizing Its Online Registration
A youth pressure group, Advocate for Collective Transformation, ACT,
yesterday insisted that prospective National Youth Service Corps, NYSC,
members must receive their call-up letters free from any medium, saying
NYSC has no justification for monetizing its online registration
platform.
ACT in a statement signed by its President, Tayo Fashogbon and National Secretary, Isaac Ifetoluwa Ajayi said the fees negate the higher call to national duty.
The youth group said it was not against the introduction of online registrations for prospective corps members, but forcing Nigerian graduates to pay in any all means before serving their own country.
Click here to read more
http://dailypost.ng/2014/09/16/act-berates-nysc-management-online-mobilization-fee/
ACT in a statement signed by its President, Tayo Fashogbon and National Secretary, Isaac Ifetoluwa Ajayi said the fees negate the higher call to national duty.
The youth group said it was not against the introduction of online registrations for prospective corps members, but forcing Nigerian graduates to pay in any all means before serving their own country.
Click here to read more
Chioma Okafor Wins Miss Intercontinental Nigeria 2014 Beauty Pageant
Chioma Okafor, a 21-year-old undergraduate who contested as Miss Bayelsa
has won the 2014 edition of the Miss Intercontinental Nigeria Beauty
Pageant 2014.
Okafor defeated 29 other contestants to emerge victorious in the competition held in Lagos. Miss Lagos, Scarlet Shotade, was the first runner-up, while Miss Abia, Sopuruchi Onwuka, was the second runner-up.
With the win, Okafor also claimed a grand prize of N2.5 million, a brand new car and the chance to represent Nigeria at the Miss Intercontinental World Beauty Pageant holding in Jordan later this year. The first runner-up got N1.5 million, while the second runner-up received N1 million.
Okafor defeated 29 other contestants to emerge victorious in the competition held in Lagos. Miss Lagos, Scarlet Shotade, was the first runner-up, while Miss Abia, Sopuruchi Onwuka, was the second runner-up.
With the win, Okafor also claimed a grand prize of N2.5 million, a brand new car and the chance to represent Nigeria at the Miss Intercontinental World Beauty Pageant holding in Jordan later this year. The first runner-up got N1.5 million, while the second runner-up received N1 million.
Flytime Events Offers One Free Table to Watch 'Bovi Man On Fire' with Ashanti and Jarule
As the October 3, 2014 date for the 'Bovi Man On Fire,' which will
feature performances from American music stars, Ashanti and Jarule draws
closer, Flytime Events, one of the official promoters of the show has
reeled out an opportunity for Nigerians and residents of Lagos to win a
free table at the prestigious event.
According to Flytime, to win a free table, interested individuals are expected to: Buy 2 VIP tickets online on NaijaTicketShop.com or QuickTeller.com, leave an e-mail or phone contact so they can be reached. The interested person is then expected to follow Flytime Events and Flytime Promotions on Twitter and Facebook respectively as the winner will be announced via this platforms and an e-mail sent to the winner on September 28, 2014.
Physical tickets (N5,000 and N25,000) can be bought only at NaijaTicketShop Stands at Silverbird Cinemas in VI and Ikeja, Ozone Cinemas and Eko Hotel. The event holds at the Eko Convention Centre.
According to Flytime, to win a free table, interested individuals are expected to: Buy 2 VIP tickets online on NaijaTicketShop.com or QuickTeller.com, leave an e-mail or phone contact so they can be reached. The interested person is then expected to follow Flytime Events and Flytime Promotions on Twitter and Facebook respectively as the winner will be announced via this platforms and an e-mail sent to the winner on September 28, 2014.
Physical tickets (N5,000 and N25,000) can be bought only at NaijaTicketShop Stands at Silverbird Cinemas in VI and Ikeja, Ozone Cinemas and Eko Hotel. The event holds at the Eko Convention Centre.
Princess, Nigerian Comedian Blames Media for Her Failed Marriage
Princess, chubby Nigerian comedian whose marriage crashed two weeks
after her May 2013 wedding in Lagos has revealed how the media played a
very integral role in the crash of her marriage adding that her marriage
also suffered from irreconcilable differences.
Speaking on YNaija's 'Rubbin Minds,' on her failed marriage, Princess (born Princess Oluwadamilola Adekoya) said, "It's like a mystery. It was based on the fact that individual differences came up and after the two weeks when the marriage ended, I didn't think it was something of joy for me to start announcing to everyone. My family and the guy's family believed that we could all make it work so we started trying to see how... and then I think around July, things came back, wasn't too smooth but we were determined to make it work and that is the most important thing but when everything finally ended, it was really very painful and all that but I didn't tell anybody.
"So December 26, I decided to let the cat out of the bag. You know I was facing so many things you know...I was pregnant twice in a year according to some bloggers. So all I said was... It was a joke... It was meant to let the story land softly... 'the marriage has ended' ...and I started seeing people pressing their phones immediately and I was like who are you talking to? Are you trying to tell Linda Ikeji or something?... Anyways, people were saying so many things on the day of the wedding. I didn't know but on our honeymoon, someone directed us to the internet and that was were most of the problems started - things about me - things about the guy and there is so much pressure that each person can take. I was like 'common people write stuff' but the guy was like, 'are you kidding me?' The marriage ended due to irreconcilable differences but then the negative media contributed to it," she said.
Speaking on YNaija's 'Rubbin Minds,' on her failed marriage, Princess (born Princess Oluwadamilola Adekoya) said, "It's like a mystery. It was based on the fact that individual differences came up and after the two weeks when the marriage ended, I didn't think it was something of joy for me to start announcing to everyone. My family and the guy's family believed that we could all make it work so we started trying to see how... and then I think around July, things came back, wasn't too smooth but we were determined to make it work and that is the most important thing but when everything finally ended, it was really very painful and all that but I didn't tell anybody.
"So December 26, I decided to let the cat out of the bag. You know I was facing so many things you know...I was pregnant twice in a year according to some bloggers. So all I said was... It was a joke... It was meant to let the story land softly... 'the marriage has ended' ...and I started seeing people pressing their phones immediately and I was like who are you talking to? Are you trying to tell Linda Ikeji or something?... Anyways, people were saying so many things on the day of the wedding. I didn't know but on our honeymoon, someone directed us to the internet and that was were most of the problems started - things about me - things about the guy and there is so much pressure that each person can take. I was like 'common people write stuff' but the guy was like, 'are you kidding me?' The marriage ended due to irreconcilable differences but then the negative media contributed to it," she said.
Jay Z Confirms Beyonce is Pregnant With Second Child, Reveals Baby Bump
If the words of Jay Z, American rap star and the physical
manifestation/body language of Beyonce, Grammy-winning singer are to be
considered strong pointers, then Beyonce is pregnant with her second
baby.
A source close to a Def Jam executive was told in July that Beyonce was pregnant but out of respect for the couple and the camp, the news was kept under wraps bearing in mind that the couple suffered a loss when Beyonce had a miscarriage some years back.
Interestingly, in the last two weeks, Beyonce has been caught on camera with what appears to be alcoholic beverages and to further clear the suspicion and uncertainty, her husband, Jay Z confirmed her pregnancy when he altered the lyrics of the song 'Beach is Better' and rapped, "... Cos she pregnant with another one.” While singing new lyrics, he cupped his hand over what seemed to be a small baby bump shown off by Beyonce's tight outfit! Also, a new costume for Beyonce's sexy song, “Partition” also showed a bump
A source close to a Def Jam executive was told in July that Beyonce was pregnant but out of respect for the couple and the camp, the news was kept under wraps bearing in mind that the couple suffered a loss when Beyonce had a miscarriage some years back.
Interestingly, in the last two weeks, Beyonce has been caught on camera with what appears to be alcoholic beverages and to further clear the suspicion and uncertainty, her husband, Jay Z confirmed her pregnancy when he altered the lyrics of the song 'Beach is Better' and rapped, "... Cos she pregnant with another one.” While singing new lyrics, he cupped his hand over what seemed to be a small baby bump shown off by Beyonce's tight outfit! Also, a new costume for Beyonce's sexy song, “Partition” also showed a bump
Timaya Releases New Album, 'Epiphany,' Tracklist Photo
Timaya, rave singer, Egberi Papa 1 of Bayelsa and CEO of DM Records has released his 5th solo album titled 'Epiphany.'
The album boasts of 16 songs with 4 bonus/additional tracks. As expected, his previous hit singles over the past year, like Ekoloma Demba, Ukwu and Bom Bom Remix (with Sean Paul) are also on the album.
Major features on the album include Olamide, Phyno, Terry G, Patoranking, Shina Peters and 2baba, with production credits going to Young D, Orbeat, Sarz, Popito, Masterkraft, T-Spize, Jez Blenda, Drey Beatz and Kenny.
The album boasts of 16 songs with 4 bonus/additional tracks. As expected, his previous hit singles over the past year, like Ekoloma Demba, Ukwu and Bom Bom Remix (with Sean Paul) are also on the album.
Major features on the album include Olamide, Phyno, Terry G, Patoranking, Shina Peters and 2baba, with production credits going to Young D, Orbeat, Sarz, Popito, Masterkraft, T-Spize, Jez Blenda, Drey Beatz and Kenny.
12 Nigerian Soldiers Sentenced to Death For Mutiny
On Tuesday, a court-martial in Abuja sentenced 12 Nigerian soldiers to death by firing squad for mutiny.
The court, which handed the judgment at 1.35a.m., also handed a one-month jail sentence to one soldier and freed five others.
The condemned soldiers are Cpl. Jasper Braidolor, Cpl. David Musa, Lance Cpl. Friday Onun, Lance Cpl. Yusuf Shuaibu, Lance Cpl. Igomu Emmanuel and Pte. Andrew Ngbede. The others are Pte. Nurudeen Ahmed, Pte. Ifeanyi Alukhagbe, Pte. Alao Samuel, Pte. Amadi Chukwudi, Pte. Allan Linus and Lance Cpl. Stephen Clement.
The President of the Court, Brig.-Gen. C.C. Okonkwo, while announcing the sentences, however, said that the decisions were subject to "confirmation’’.
Eighteen soldiers were arraigned on a six-court charge bordering on inciting mutiny against the GOC, 7 Division, Maimalari Barracks in Maiduguri, Maj-Gen. Ahmed Mohammed, on May 14.
While five of the accused were discharged and acquitted, Pte. Ichocho Jeremiah was sentenced to 28 days imprisonment with hard labour for being absent without official leave.
The 12 condemned men were found guilty of munity, which attracts death by firing squad, and also sentenced to life in jail for criminal conspiracy and attempt to commit murder.
Cpl. David Luhbut, Cpl. Muhammed Sani, Pte. Iseh Ubong, Pte. Sabastine Gwaba and Pte. Inama Samuel were set free by the court.
The court, which handed the judgment at 1.35a.m., also handed a one-month jail sentence to one soldier and freed five others.
The condemned soldiers are Cpl. Jasper Braidolor, Cpl. David Musa, Lance Cpl. Friday Onun, Lance Cpl. Yusuf Shuaibu, Lance Cpl. Igomu Emmanuel and Pte. Andrew Ngbede. The others are Pte. Nurudeen Ahmed, Pte. Ifeanyi Alukhagbe, Pte. Alao Samuel, Pte. Amadi Chukwudi, Pte. Allan Linus and Lance Cpl. Stephen Clement.
The President of the Court, Brig.-Gen. C.C. Okonkwo, while announcing the sentences, however, said that the decisions were subject to "confirmation’’.
Eighteen soldiers were arraigned on a six-court charge bordering on inciting mutiny against the GOC, 7 Division, Maimalari Barracks in Maiduguri, Maj-Gen. Ahmed Mohammed, on May 14.
While five of the accused were discharged and acquitted, Pte. Ichocho Jeremiah was sentenced to 28 days imprisonment with hard labour for being absent without official leave.
The 12 condemned men were found guilty of munity, which attracts death by firing squad, and also sentenced to life in jail for criminal conspiracy and attempt to commit murder.
Cpl. David Luhbut, Cpl. Muhammed Sani, Pte. Iseh Ubong, Pte. Sabastine Gwaba and Pte. Inama Samuel were set free by the court.
Nigeria Education
Ebola: Anambra, Rivers, Others Ready for Sept. 22 Resumption—Education Commissioners
Several State Commissioners of Education have expressed readiness of
their state primary and secondary schools to resume on September 22,
following the insistence by the Federal Government that the resumption
date would not be extended. They stressed that adequate measures have
been put in place to contain any possible outbreak of the deadly Ebola
Virus Diseases, EVD, in schools.
Those that gave assurances of their preparedness were the commissioners
for education of Anambra, Edo, Ogun, Rivers, as well as the special
adviser to Governor Babatunde Fashola of Lagos State on Information and
Strategy.
Speaking to #VANGUARD,
the Anambra State Commissioner for Education, Prof. Kate Omenugha,
affirmed the State’s readiness to tackle the scourge even before the
directive by the Minister of Education on September 5. Omenugha said:
“Even before the meeting with the Minister of Education, in Abuja, on
September 5, Anambra has been proactive in preventing the EVD from
gaining entrance into the State. At the moment, we have trained 1, 044
Head teachers of Primary Schools, 21 Education Secretaries, as well as
256 Secondary School principals.”
Similarly, the Edo State Commissioner for Higher Education (Secondary,
Tertiary and Technical), Barr. Washington Osifo, who said FG’s directive
for schools to resume September 22, has been accepted by the State
government, indicated, “Yes, the September 22 resumption is not a fluke.
It is already on ground. Our judgment was based on expert information
given us by those saddled with the responsibility of certifying that
schools are safe to resume. We organized training for teachers on
September 11, 12 and 13, across the three senatorial districts. This
does not only include public school teachers, but also private school
teachers and at no cost to them. Although, since the outbreak of the
EVD, Edo State has been certified 100 per cent Ebola free, but the
reason for the trainings we have embarked upon is not just to contain
Ebola, but other contagious diseases that go with improper hygiene
common among children.”
According to the Ogun State Commissioner for Education, Segun Odubela,
“We are ready to resume on September 22 as proposed by the Federal
Government. The training of teachers on how to curb the spread of Ebola,
would commence on Tuesday and end on Thursday, at four centres in the
state.”
The Commissioner for Education, Rivers State, Dame Alice Lawrence-Nemi,
said the state commenced training for teachers on Monday. She said:
“Today, we started the training for teachers both in public and private
schools on the Ebola Virus Disease EVD,” adding that “the training was
done in all the senatorial districts of the state.”
In the same vein, the Lagos State government in a statement signed by
the Special Adviser to Governor Babatunde Fashola on Information and
Strategy, Alhaji Lateef Raji, reads: “Concerning the resumption of all
public and private nursery, primary and secondary schools for the
2014/2015 session, Lagos State Government supports the September 22,
2014 date, which was announced by the Federal Government after a
national consultation on efforts to contain the Ebola Virus Disease
(EVD) in Nigeria.”
Collapsed building
.
Joshua's network of churches and a television station have attracted people from around the world to Lagos with promises of receiving miracles and prophecies from the man followers dub "The Prophet".
Joshua has suggested that a low-flying aircraft was responsible for the collapse and released security camera footage apparently showing a plane flying four times over the hostel before its collapse.
Ikotun is located to the west of Lagos's international aircraft.
The preacher has not commented directly on the deaths and initially claimed that only a few people were injured but on Sunday tweeted: "No matter how long a lie is sustained, truth will someday prevail."
Rescuers say the building was overburdened by additional floors being constructed on top of its existing foundations.
Lagos state government officials are investigating the cause of the collapse.
67 South Africans killed in Nigeria building collapse
Cape Town – Sixty-seven South Africans have died after a building at
the Synagogue Church of All Nations collapsed on Friday, according to
the presidency.
In a statement released on Tuesday spokesperson Mac Maharaj said: “I am greatly saddened to announce that 67 South Africans died and scores of others sustained injuries, after a building at the Synagogue Church of All Nations collapsed on Friday, 12 September 2014, in Lagos, in the Federal Republic of Nigeria.”
The last death toll from the collapsed guesthouse at a mega-church in Nigeria was reported at 57 earlier on Tuesday.
Maharaj said: “Our thoughts are with the families, friends and colleagues that have lost their loved ones in this heart-breaking tragedy. The whole nation shares the pain of the mothers, fathers, daughters and sons who have lost their loved ones. We are all in grief.”
He directed the relevant government departments and entities to act with the utmost urgency to ensure that the presidency facilitate the movement of relevant family members to Nigeria, to identify the bodies.
“Government will keep the public informed of developments around this tragedy.”
In a statement released on Tuesday spokesperson Mac Maharaj said: “I am greatly saddened to announce that 67 South Africans died and scores of others sustained injuries, after a building at the Synagogue Church of All Nations collapsed on Friday, 12 September 2014, in Lagos, in the Federal Republic of Nigeria.”
The last death toll from the collapsed guesthouse at a mega-church in Nigeria was reported at 57 earlier on Tuesday.
Maharaj said: “Our thoughts are with the families, friends and colleagues that have lost their loved ones in this heart-breaking tragedy. The whole nation shares the pain of the mothers, fathers, daughters and sons who have lost their loved ones. We are all in grief.”
He directed the relevant government departments and entities to act with the utmost urgency to ensure that the presidency facilitate the movement of relevant family members to Nigeria, to identify the bodies.
“Government will keep the public informed of developments around this tragedy.”
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